That Chick Needs to Get Laid

There's this bird, and every morning it enjoys to sing a catchy little jingle outside our window around 3am. Bird, what's the deal? Three in the morning on a weeknight is no time to perform a mating ritual. Let's face it, by the time last call comes around, if you still haven't hooked up with a chick you probably aren't going to. Cut your losses, go to bed, masturbate, and try again the next night. And stop WAKING ME UP AT 3AM!