Guitar Hero III

Jenny and I have been rocking out on Guitar Hero III. Ironically, by devoting my time to the Wii, I no longer find time to practice the guitar. Priorities? Backward.

Step 3… Profit

I think I found my calling. My dignity is definitely worth six figures.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/11/business/media/11youtube.html

10:00am Meetings

Here's the problem with 10:00am meetings: An 11:00am meeting equals free pizza, or sandwiches. A 10:00am meeting equals boring morning.

Are You Serious?

Get a (real) life, people.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/ptech/10/23/avatar.murder.japan.ap

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/11/14/second.life.divorce

I’m a Nerd

Last night I dreamt I was trying to configure a wireless adapter to work with Linux on my laptop. You know you're turning into an uber-nerd when you start dreaming about computers. At least it wasn't a wet dream.

She Said Yes

It happened. I proposed to Jenny. She said yes. We're engaged. That's as detailed as I get. If you want the girl-talk play-by-play, call Jenny.

My Election Opinions

As you’ve undoubtedly been made aware, Barack Obama won Tuesday’s election – immediately followed by an inundation of comments and blogs on the interweb. Some people have expressed their disappointment, some their outrage, some their caution, some their pride, and some people have expressed their intoxication. I’ve perused my peers’ political garble, and on both sides of the fence I’ve read some good points, poor points, confusing points, and witty retorts. In the vast array of post-election points, one thing’s for sure – every point has been made a thousand times over. Since every other American with a keyboard and internet connection is expressing his political opinion, I feel it is my patriotic duty to do the same; that I should devote this blog post to my opinions regarding the election results, my disdain for those who disagree with my opinion, and to throw in some funny remarks as to sound clever yet not too pompous.

But instead I am going to write about pirates…

Pirates live on pirate ships. Once every few weeks they’ll spend some time at port, but that’s only to trade their pirate swag for rum, and to hear the lamentations of the women. While at sea pirates enjoy drinking rum, singing songs, and raiding merchant ships. It is an understandable misconception that pirates voluntarily drink tea because they frequently raid British East India Company ships. But in actuality they hoard the tea to trade for rum when at port. The current tea to rum exchange rate is 19.3 tea bags to 8 oz. of rum.

There are very few lady pirates, as the pirate lifestyle requires a level of burliness rarely seen in women. Women who indeed possess proper pirate traits tend to excel in pirating careers. Lady pirates have prolonged premenstrual syndromes (usually ranging between 29 and 33 days a month) giving them a hormonal boost which makes subordinating men an easy task. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom would be terrible pirate candidates, as their highly feminine demeanors would subject them to constant sexual harassment. Sexual harassment laws are very lax in privately invested pirating firms. In 1843, an experimental women-only pirate crew was assembled. One day they raided a Manolo Blahnik vessel, and they were never seen or heard from again.

Barack Obama probably wouldn’t make a very good pirate. The pirate community is not as progressive as the United States, thus it is rare for an African American to rise above the rank of powder monkey. If he were, on the other hand, an American African or a voodoo-practicing Haitian his chances for promotion would rise dramatically. Additionally, he would be required to legally change his name to heed strict pirate conventions, so as to sound more pirate-like, i.e. Blackbeard, The Dread Pirate Roberts, Long John Silver, etc.

John McCain would be unlikely to make a very good pirate either, as he is too old. Pirate lifestyle tends to be very rigorous, both physically and mentally. A 7:00pm bedtime would interfere with night-time pillages, and his history with melanoma would render him useless in daytime chores, such as manning the jib. Also, pirates tend to be pro-choice and McCain’s conservative views would likely alienate himself from other pirates, thus preventing him from rising above the ranks of swashbuckler.

Hilary Clinton would make an excellent pirate.

The three primary commodities of modern-day pirate swag are gold, copyrighted material, and butts. The three primary threats to the modern-day pirate economy are scarcity of rum, scurvy, and outsourcing.

I Voted for Kodos

Has anyone else voted yet? Was anyone else tempted to write-in your own name for president? Perhaps a write-in for "Kodos?"

Jenny and I got up early to squeeze in a morning vote, which took about an hour. They say one shouldn't vote before work, during lunchtime, or after work if he wants to avoid long lines. Then when? I am fully in favor of early voting going nationwide, and I don't understand why it hasn't already.

Tonight Jenny and I are having an election party. Wings Pizza, beer, and politics; all the ingredients for an exciting night.

I Don’t Want Your Lousy T-Shirt

I gave blood this morning. Now I have an excuse to play Wii instead of exercising after work.

Why do organizations always try to shove their lousy t-shirts in my face? That's right, lousy. The blood drive t-shirts are lousy, the Relay for Life t-shirts are lousy, Greek Life t-shirts (save for Brent's) are lousy, any free t-shirt that doesn't have an inappropriate graphic is utterly lousy. Just give me my cookie and orange juice, and let me be one my way.

My pulse is 64 bpm, blood pressure 104/68, iron level  ~16.5 (not sure what units they use, but apparently I'm about 4 above average), and my temp was ~96.5 degrees. Conclusion? I'm one chill mothafucka.

I learned today that tea and coffee contain compounds called tannins which interfere with the blood's absorption of iron. The blood takers recommended someone not drink any kind of tea or coffee one day prior to and one day after donating. And at work I started my day with a pleasant cup of tea, thinking that a healthy choice. Hm. The more you know.

A woman today was driving on the highway 15 mph under the speed limit. As I passed I noticed her brushing her teeth. Part of me, a rather small part of me wishes she was texting instead.

Gas near my apartment is $2.42. Jenny's mom saw gas in Cincinnati for $1.99. As overjoyed as I am to fill my tank for $15, I pretty much agree with Keacher on this.

Halfpenny, I'll let you know when I get Dr. Mario; but be aware that my efforts are currently devoted to Mario Kart and Mario Galaxy. And soon I'll have the next Mario Party in George's favorite series of video-drinking-games. This time requiring coordinated motions. I'll need to be sure to wear the wrist strap.

Now that I have a Wii I have to start adding "friends" to play against and to send messages. It's not enough that I have facebook friends, and real friends, but now I need Mario Kart friends. How many ways am I suppose to be friends with the SAME PEOPLE?

Fuck Halloween! This weekend is Daylight Saving Time. Jenny and I are going to celebrate with beer and ravioli, followed by a nine hour sleep.

Wiiiiiiiiiiii

Jenny gave me a Wii for our anniversary, and I love her more now than I ever have before. Online Mario Kart, anybody?

My First (Real) Raise

No, not the roof.

I received my first raise at Dynetics this month. We had performance reviews last month, and apparently I perform well [insert innuendo] because I got a surprising 8% raise. My last significant raise was from $8.00 to $9.00 an hour as a produce clerk (I was a damn good produce clerk). Although the latter was a 12.5% jump, I like the Dynetics one better (as it is 8% of a big boy's salary). Sadly, my 401k is down 25.8.% since September 1st.

R.I.P
George's 401k
We Hardly Knew Thee

As one who enjoys math, the internet, and money I did some cost of living comparisons with my new salary. To enjoy the same comfort of living as I do in Huntsville, AL, I'd need to pull in: over $80k in Chicago or Seattle, $90k in Boston, and over $100k in LA, New York, or DC. I'm not going to live in Huntsville forever, but while I'm here I will thoroughly appreciate affording shit.

Texts!

I decided I need to text more. Not because I want to be a teenage girl, but rather to feel content paying $5 monthly for 200 messages. I seldom send and receive over 25 messages total, meaning each text costs over 25 cents which is what I'd pay (per text) if I didn't have a plan. During homecoming I texted like a drunk college kid (really?) but still only reached 67 on that billing cycle.

Come on friends, help a guy out. I want to break 100 texts - that's 5 cents per text. Lose the game? Announce it. Georgia sucks? Sure does. Weird rash? Take a picture, I'll have a look. Don't worry, I'm a doctor.

Career Fair & Bullshit

Updated 10/14/2008

For those curious, I did get out of the meeting. I tried calling the man in charge about a half dozen times, and finally hear from him just before our last interview on Thursday. One hour later and I would have been on the road. They planned another make up session this week, so I was off the hook. And so the career fair trip concluded with a long, fun, expensive Thursday night at Sonkas. I drove home Friday.

P.S. Piece of advice with anyone with a significant other. Don't tell her you're coming home early until you're absolutely sure, i.e. you're half an hour into the drive. I lost some major points on that one.

Original 10/07/2008

Returned from Homecoming Sunday evening. Driving to the career fair this afternoon. Should have just stayed in Terre Haute. But then again, that would be using two vacation days to watch tv in Terre Haute. Not worth it. Perhaps if Rush weren't going on...

Now get this bullshit...

I planned to stay in Terre Haute on Thursday night after the career fair and interviews are done, and probably enjoy a festive night at Sonkas. Then I'd drive home Friday afternoon or Saturday morning. But then I get this email from my Boeing manager on Monday morning. The company is holding a series of security training sessions required for all external contractors this week. My last name begins with "M" giving  me a 10am Wednesday session.

"But George, can't you ask to go to a Tuesday session?" you might ask. "No, my seemingly clever friend." I'd respond. "Because the A-L session is 8am Wednesday. And the makeup session is 1pm Friday."

Who planned this crap? Required training sessions for everyone on Wednesday and Thursday, a Friday makeup session, but wait until the previous Monday to tell anyone. I'm annoyed. Not angry. Just annoyed. I guess I'll be driving back Thursday afternoon, after I stock up on some Three Floyds and Dogfish Head beers at Big Red.

At least I have a Dynetics department meeting next Monday. Dynetics, they know how to throw a meeting. Tell us a month in advance, and serve us free pizza. I love my department meetings.

P.S. I'll post about my Homecoming hijinx sometime later.

Elevator to Heaven

Where were you, when they built the elevator to heaven?

 ZOMFG this would be flippin' awesome!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/10/02/space.elevator/

P.S. I'm at homecoming right now. Sweet.

Big Spring Jam ‘08

Rock out, anyone?

Huntsville's annual Big Spring Jam is the last weekend in September. No, holding the festival in autumn doesn't make the name ironic. The festival is held in Big Spring Park.

I didn't go last year because Rose's homecoming fell on the last weekend of September, causing me to miss a performance by 70's super-band Foreigner. Though I won't become as cold as ice, nor hot blooded, the lineup this time around looks even awesomer - well, if you're big into classic rock like this guy. Kansas, .38 Special, The Guess Who, and the ever lonely Three Dog Night. And yes, I have been curious to know what Hootie's been up to (blowfish not included). And who (excluding Jenny) doesn't love the upbeat tunes of The Presidents of the United States of America? But what am I most excited for? Fucking STYX! Tighten the jib my friend, 'cause I'm gonna sail away.

Yeah, there's some crap too. Some country, a little hip-hop, and some rock groups I've never heard of / cared about. But there are three stages, so avoiding Cowboy Troy won't be a challenge. And all the bands I love are headlining. Sweet.

If anyone wants to visit said weekend (Sept 26-28) and rock out like a beer-drinking robot, you can contact me at my usual number/blog/email/facebook. I can get discounted weekend passes where I work - though they're only available for about another weekish. We'll have a futon waiting in the den, and beer waiting in the fridge.

P.S. Oh frak! Kansas and Presidents of the USA are playing at the same time. Mind-making must ensue.

Banana Trivia

You may remember how annoying I find bananas to be when they ripen too fast. I recently read some food trivia, and amongst them were a couple banana facts . Supposedly, if you separate your bananas when you get them home they'll take longer to ripen. The scientist in me feels an experiment coming on. I'll publish my results in Popular Science, and perhaps Banana Digest.

The other banana fact? If you peel them from the bottom, you won't get all that stringy stuff. I'll test the validity of that banana fact tomorrow morning.

Science! I do feel compelled to share my scientific research and hypothesis for banana fact the former. I haven't found any verification online about separating your bananas, but I have found suggestions to keep your bananas on a banana hanger - not to be confused with a banana hammock - to slow down the ripening process. The banana is a climacteric fruit, which means the hormone ethylene catalyzes ripening; and while ripening the fruit also produces ethylene gas (how circular). Other climacteric fruit are peaches, tomatoes, you know - anything that rots. Nonclimacteric fruits (apples, pineapple, etc.) do not exhibit the increase in respiration nor the rise in ethylene production, which is why they keep much longer and don't go mushy on your countertop. Basically, climacteric fruits are picked and sold before they're ripe, and nonclimactic fruit are ripe on the shelves. No paper bags required for apples, right? So, the reason putting peaches, bananas, etc. in paper bags is to contain the ethylene gas thereby raising its concentration, which quickens ripening. I assume the banana hanger allows the gas to dissipate much easier thus slowing the ripening process. I hypothesize that by separating the bananas you are also allowing the gas to dissipate more easily. Perhaps storing them in front of a fan would be a further benefit. I've also read not to store fruit next to each others because they'll ripen mucho fastido.

As for banana fact the latter (peeling from the bottom). That's just witchcraft.

Cory Salem, 1987-2008

Update 09/11/2008

Jenny and I returned from Cory's funeral yesterday. It was a really rough trip - about 20 hours spent in my Honda Fit over a 36 hour period - but months from now we would have deeply regretted not making the effort had we decided it was too far to attend. It was comforting to see such a great number of people attend - there weren't enough seats for everyone at the church. Rose-Hulman filled two buses, and there must have been at least another thirty cars in the procession. I think it touched, maybe even overwhelmed, his family to see how many people really cared for Cory.

And I have a little anecdote. As we all (should) know, a funeral procession trumps everything but an emergency vehicle. Jenny and I drove the second-to-last car in the procession. In driving to the graveyard, we passed some minor accident which required a cop to control (but not necessarily direct) traffic as our side of the road was reduced from two lanes to one. Well some chick in the right lane must've grown impatient as a line of 30+ vehicles cut in front of her, and so she edged slowly forward and... cut me off. She cut off a funeral procession. Bitch! But what was I to do? flip her off? lay on my horn? Didn't seem appropriate, especially next to an accident. Fortunately, the cop witness this skankosity and stepped into the slow-moving traffic and pointed at the chick, "You! Stop!" A car of Pikes were in between the action and must've gotten confused, because they stopped; and the cop said "Oh no, you go ahead. But YOU!" pointing at the girl, "You pull into that parking lot right now! You just cut into a funeral procession!" and the girl reluctantly pulled into some restaurant's lot. It's one of the few times I thoroughly enjoyed seeing a traffic cop yell at somebody.

Original 09/04/2008

Last I saw Cory was at dinner before the Pike Indy bar crawl, and we sat across from one another; and he was so excited (relative even to his own personality) because he just bought a motorcycle - and he went on and on about it. Later, I asked when would he be turning twenty-one, and he told me the day before school begins, and we talked about how exciting it is to turn twenty-one. Now, not two months later, I learn that he died in a motorcycle accident? on his twenty-first birthday? Perhaps it isn’t irony, but I can’t relinquish this uncanny feeling - that the topics of our last conversation are also circumstances of his untimely death. The only condolence I receive from this tragedy is that he was experiencing the motorcycle he enjoyed so much, and he reached the birthday he waited so long for. And I am glad that we just so happened to sit across from one other at that dinner in July.

Seldom does one meet a person with the charisma and energy that Cory possesses, and seldom still does one get to befriend such people. As with every man he had his faults, but Cory was a good man and a good friend. He brought joy to this world, and to my own life. He had great humor and even greater character. We were looking forward to having a drink out together at homecoming, which is now not too far away; but it seems, if there be a life after death, we’ll have to wait much longer for that drink.

I keep remembering the “Oh my gosh! It’s George Mills!” that Cory would shout so enthusiastically every time I visited last year, or the neon sign I helped hang in his room - probably because those are memories only the two of us share. I’ll miss you and remember you, Cory Salem. May you rest in peace.

McKay Hollow Trail

I just got back from hiking at Monte Sano State Park. The park is located at the summit of Monte Sano Mountain, and maintains about 14 miles of hiking/biking trails. I enjoyed an easy 1 1/2 mile run on the South Plateau Loop then veered onto the McKay Hollow trail which is meant for more serious hikers. After about 2 miles on the latter trail I didn't think it seemed all too difficult - it was narrow and buggy, that's for sure; but I didn't think it deserved its double diamond rating. To this point it was generally a gradual downward slope. But then, then the last half mile kicked my ass. By the time I returned to the lodge I was tired, and I was thirsty, and I was sweaty. I made a more careful inspection of the giant trail map, and the McKay Hollow trail drops 600 ft over about 1 1/2 miles, and in the last half mile it earns its double diamonds (I think it's the only double diamond trail in the park).

When I intersected the Natural Well trail I followed it (as was my original plan) for about a quarter mile but every ten steps I got a facefull of spider web, and so it wasn't fun anymore and I returned to the McKay Hollow trail. Where the latter trail ends a sign reads "Natural Well is not maintained as it has been washed out." If the park guys had one of those signs at the other end of the McKay Hollow trail I wouldn't have had to floss my teeth with spider webbing. Douche bags.

And so I bought a nice cold bottle of water and one of delicious orange soda and enjoyed them thoroughly. I discovered the park store sells cold beer. Nice to know if I ever camp up there. So yeah, I had a pretty fun hike.

Labor Day Weekend

Should be called BBQ & Beer Weekend. That is all.

Drinking Age Debate

If the legal drinking age does ever drop to 18, I'll wish I had gone to college later.  I could drive, vote, enlist, and run for office; but drinking beer is obviously too dangerous. Then again, as an underclassmen I didn't have the money to spend at bars anyways.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/08/18/college.drinking.age.ap

Olympic Hijinks

I seems there's more than meets the eye at the Beijing Olympics, what with fake fireworks, fake singers, and potentially underage athletes. The biggest surprise? Michael Phelps is actually an Atlantic salmon in a speed-o. Man, what computers can do nowadays is simply incredible.

Invisibility Jacket

We're one step closer to Solid Snake's invisibility cloak. And I think it makes for a pretty trendy fashion statement too.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/08/11/invisibility.cloak.ap

8/8/8

Happy 08/08/08 Day! This only occurs once like every bazzilion years.

I think I'll celebrate by drinking 8% beer, betting Spanish dollars against octogenarian arachnids in a game of Eight-ball, listening to an 8-track of 8.

Goddamn Mongorians!

Jenny and I saw Sergei Bodrov's Mongol last night - the first film in a planned trilogy telling the life of Genghis Khan. For a while we were hoping Huntsville would be included in the limited release, and though it's playing at one of Huntsville's crappier theaters (the only local cinema which seems to bring in indie and foreign films) we are pleased it finally made an appearance. Mongol is essentially an Asian Braveheart, historical inaccuracies and all - but how many Americans know the fine details about Genghis Khan's life anyways? All I have to say is: It was freakin' sweet.

Gmail Overload!

Uh oh! It looks like I'd better start cleaning out my Google mailbox...

You are currently using 156 MB (2%) of your 6960 MB.

After all this time I finally reached 2% capacity. Damn, that means I only have 98% free space.

Summer ‘08 Plans

Amongst my brief commentaries on current events, I decided to write about the current events in my life. Often times I'll have a grand 'ol time out of town, and when I return home I start to write about it, bore myself, never finish the post and ultimately get side tracked by the CNN tab on my Google homepage. What can I say? I have the attention span of a chipmunk.

So far this summer, I've traveled out of town about three out of every four weekends. Since the end of May, I've been to:

1. Rose-Hulman Commencement in Terre Haute


2. Magic City Brewfest '08 in Birmingham


3. Robin Schaffer's Wedding in Indiana


4. Visit Dave in Nashville


5. Thiede & Willis's Wedding in Indiana


6. Visit Family in Connecticut


7. and the Pike Bar Crawl in Indy

Hell, that's seven out of nine weekends. This weekend I'll be home, but we have Diana and Rob visiting which counts as more than the average sleeping, reading, movies, beer, and videogames (or SRMBV) weekend. The first weekend of August is Kristie Sparks's wedding outside of Louisville. The following weekend is Dave's birthday in Nashville. Then a truly, honest to God free weekend - unless Jenny's mom visits which is a possibility.

Thus brings us to the weekend of August 23rd - and my delicate conundrum. I am 75% dedicated to a camping trip up in Indiana. But recently Jenny and I were invited to a "free beer giveaway" party here in Huntsville. The Olde Towne Brewing Company, the only microbrewery in Alabama, tragically burned to the ground (along with its pet cats) the very day I pulled my U-Haul into town. Last Saturday the brewery hosted a Free the Hops meeting in their newly constructed establishment, whence they announced their "we're back" party, a sort of grand re-opening, to be held on August 23rd. For whatever reason (whether legal or logistical) they decided the best course of action is to make the event strictly 21+ and have free admissions, and FREE BEER! That's right, all their beer it completely free. It'll be like visiting a museum: an optional donation at the entrance, and past that you soak in as much beauty as you can handle. To top that, Jenny doesn't particularly want to be alone for the weekend so she offered to DD, an ingenious effort to bribe me into sticking around. I'll wait for more details to emerge regarding the camping trip (and perhaps balance my checkbook) before I make a decision, but the choice is a seven hour drive for a weekend camping with friends or a fifteen minute drive for an evening drinking unlimitedly.

I have no plans for the Labor Day weekend. Jenny is visiting a friend in Virginia, which leaves me home alone to fight off incompetent burglars for a few days. I originally had been considering going to Foam for the three day weekend, but recently I learned that Rose is starting classes after Labor Day, thus Foam Party will be the following Saturday - which is teh lame. So if anyone wants to make plans not terribly far from Huntsville let me know. Otherwise, I'll probably be doing a lot of hiking and watching a lot of cartoons.

The South #1

Wooh! The South is number one! Specifically, Alabama is number two!! Ironically, most people in Huntsville look like skinny pasty Rose kids - you know, the typical engineer build.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/diet.fitness/07/17/obesity.states.ap

P.S. Jenny and I saw The Dark Knight on opening day. I don't want to echo the flood of critical reviews and blog posts regarding the flick, but it truly is one of the few films which, in my opinion, totally lives up to, if not surpasses, its hype. Jenny and I have talked about seeing it in IMAX this weekend - and I never pay to see a movie in theaters a second time.

Cyberpunctual

Biotechnology? Invisibility cloaking? I'm not sure if anyone else is a fan of Ghost in the Shell, but some scientists seem to be trying to bring that world to fruition. And with a prediction like "humans will be mostly non-biological by around 2030" it seems they're trying to catch up with the storyline. I just hope they skip over the whole World War III and World War IV parts of the plot.

Of course cyberpunk stories like Blade Runner, RoboCop, and The Matrix also come to mind, but for whatever reason Ghost in the Shell seems the most plausible to me.

As soon as I read an article about warp drive technology I'll probably go ahead and make some Star Trek jokes.

Mr. Covele Goes to Austin

The alumni bar crawl this past weekend was mucho fun, even if Rocksteady Bebop did kick our asses. Having arrived a little early, the hotel guys began with some beer (and beer samplers) at Rock Bottom before moving on to the scheduled dinner at The Ram. From there we split into guys who didn’t mind the $5 cover for Nicky Blaine's‎ (an upscale cigar bar) and guys who preferred the Wild Beaver (insert innuendo here). From there it was 32oz. German beers at Rathskeller, then on to Claddagh Irish Pub‎. It seems Purdue has done nothing for Kenny’s tolerance, forcing an abrupt departure from the latter. Dave overheard the bartender holding a mop going into the men's room saying "Why do people do this to me?" - though I'm not sure how well that mop would work on a urinal. Do you have the imagery yet? A few of us (including I who had been up since 5am) returned with Kenny to the hotel while the others, I learned the next morning, concluded their night at a nudy bar.

My room’s occupants began the next morning with breakfast while the rest of the guys needed a couple more hours to sleep. While thinking of good breakfast places (and why is it that only cheap hotels serve continental breakfast?) Edmonson and Cameron recommended Qdoba, fine by me. Then we get there and I realize it’s a fast food Mexican grille – because there’s nothing like nachos after a long night of imported beers. Boy oh boy is Jenny lucky she wasn’t around for that car ride home.

We eat up at the circle and chill at the hotel while the other guys slowly start the day. Brent clogs the toilet and has to call for a plunger to be sent up, thattaboy. After all is said and done, I chill in Greenwood for a couple more hours, say my farewell to Brent, and return home. Brent is moving to Austin next weekend to get his PhD in Plasma Physics, if you weren’t aware.

And so it was that I awoke (a little hung over) at 5am on Saturday, drove six hours to Indy for a bar crawl, and drove back to Huntsville on Sunday. I still got it.

When I got gas halfway through my trip, I calculated my car as getting 39.8 mpg. I was so freaking close! I have a personal goal to average 40 mpg on a tank of gas.

Anheuser-Busch Has a Price Tag

And it's $52,000,000,000. That could buy 75 billion bottles of Bud Light, enough to get the entire world tipsy (and maybe get JJ a fat Christmas bonus). It looks like the world's second largest brewery (Belgium brewery InBev) is aiming to buy America's largest brewery to create one helluva super brewery, Anheuser-Busch InBev.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/14/anheuser.inbev.ap

After reading this article, I felt relieved not to have learned about it in Pike's back lounge - because I can imagine the moaning and groaning that'll be going on. Having once been, I know how disgruntled drunken college boys will feel about our biggest brewery going Euro. Sure enough, I received an invite to join "Boycott the un-Americanizing of Anheuser-Busch" on Facebook before lunchtime. Personally, I rarely drink AB products so I don't give much of hoot about the deal (which still needs to be approved by shareholders and antitrust regulators). Though admittedly, I'd be a little apprehensive if I heard a brewery like Dogfish Head were to be sold to a foreign company, so I understand. But in this case, InBev makes better beers than Anheuser (not to mention AB has been responsible for the importation of many InBev beers) so I'm somewhat in favor of the purchase. Really, I'm just curious to see how it all unfolds.

At least I got to tour the Anheuser-Busch factory in St. Louis while it still was the Anheuser-Busch factory.

P.S. JJ's company makes bottles. In case you didn't get it.

Update: I found this online, and I have to admit it's pretty funny.

One Year at Dynetics

I started work at my first big boy job one year ago yesterday. Hooray for me.

Good Boy, Oil Man

This is the type of article to which I enjoy starting my day...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/07/08/pickens.plan/index.html

Shoulda Been an Architect

I should have been an architect, only because this is so freakin' sweet...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/06/25/duibai.tower/
http://www.dynamicarchitecture.net

While I'm thinking about architecture, I'll mention my discovery of Google SketchUp the other day - which is also freakin' sweet. How have I not heard about this software until version six? Anyways, it's amongst the coolest free apps I ever downloaded, right up there with Firefox and VLC.

P.S. Firefox 3 is out. It rocks.

Pussy Farts…

No one ever talks about pussy farts in public anymore... and it looks like no one else ever will.

RIP George Carlin (1937-2008)

Jenny Returns from Long Beach

Thus ends five days of leaving the seat up. Sigh.

Jenny Went to Long Beach

I drove Jenny to the airport at 5:15am this morning so she can go to Long Beach, CA, for business. What a skank, in the sarcastic, jealous kinda way. I've been home not even four hours now and the apartment is already falling apart (on a molecular and dirty t-shirt scale) yet I just haven't got the incentive to keep tidy. Jenny, if you're reading this from Cali, fret not for the apartment will be sparkling fresh upon your return. And if you make out with any rockstars don't bother coming home... well unless it's Mick Jagger, because that's understandable.

I just lost The Game.

Jaws of Life!

Today we had Safety Awareness Day Demonstrations at Dynetics - as in sweet-ass demonstrations...

Representatives from Ansul Fire Protection (whose systems we have installed) demonstrated C6-Perfluoroketone, or trade name Novec 1230, or chemical formula CF3CF2C(O)CF(CF3)2. It's a non-toxic, environmentally-safe, and non-conductive liquid similar to water that can be used in fire extinguishing systems. They had a fully functioning computer monitor and a cell phone submersed in a tank of the stuff; and they dipped a water color picture into the tank and the paint didn't run at all. The liquid evaporates faster than alcohol, so the paper dried in a few seconds; and they let us dip our hands into the tank and it dries off as soon as you pull it out. Apparently it works by spraying the vapor into a room with valuables or electronics (which are all unaffected by the chemical) and the Novec 1230 is so dense and has such a high heat capacity that is sucks all heat out of a fire thus extinguishing it. Neat stuff.

Then, in the parking lot, a rescue squad demonstrated how they remove someone trapped in a wrecked car... with the JAWS OF LIFE! It was sweet. Of course they talked about important safety information, but us engineers just cared about the hand saw that rips through tempered glass and the hydraulic cutters that split a car in two. In a few minutes they removed the entire roof along with a couple doors. I guess the misconception is that the rescue squad works to remove a person from the vehicle; they say their job is actually to remove the vehicle from the person to prevent injury. If only my new phone had arrived in time, I would have posted some sweet pictures.

Alright, lunchtime...

Opposite Day

I realized something the other day. We all remember Opposite Day on the 5th grade school bus. If I were to approach you and say "Today is Opposite Day" and you were a robot, then your head would asplode.

A Long Week in June

There will be no IRS stimulus payment for George this go around. Why? Because my asinine parents put me a dependent in 2007; and I used their accountant to do my taxes and he definitely did NOT check that little box on line 6a. Why is this asinine? Because in 2007 I was a student for only five months, I had scholarships pay for all tuition, and I landed a good paying job right out of college. And because I’m over 18 they don’t get that extra $300 stimulus per dependent. I wouldn’t be so pissed if my status as a dependent gave them a substantial saving, but it doesn’t and I am so pissed. I personally paid for books, food, Pike, spring breaks, and the whole lot with my money – or with loans that I’m paying off – and I never once asked them for financial help. If I had known the stipulations to getting a $600 rebate sooner, I would definitely have paid the $50 for an H&R block to do my taxes. Phew, venting is exhausting.

I also checked 4th of July airline prices – and they went DOWN! I purchased two airline tickets in early May for me and Jenny to go to Connecticut over that weekend, and a relatively similar itinerary now costs $150 less. That’s NOT the way it’s supposed to work. I got fucked out of a total of $750 this week – that’s like three Wii’s.
Also, Jenny and I got new Sony Ericsson Walkman 580i phones this week – at a great deal – and my phone has a line through the display. It wasn’t difficult getting an RA and I’m already exchanging it, but DAMN IT! I love playing with new gadgets, and now I have to wait.

Well, I do have today off work because Jenny and I are heading out to a wedding. She’s the maid of honor so I basically get to eat free the whole weekend. The rehearsal dinner will be a BBQ – mmmmmmmm BBQ. Nothing cheers me up like a little moochie moochie.

Since I had such a long and unlucky week, I drank Dogfish Head Fort yesterday which had been in my special reserve. I figure I can stock up on gourmet beers when I’m in Murfreesboro next week. As flavor goes, it’s probably my most disappointing Dogfish Head experience, but that’s because it’s 18% ABV making the ethanol particularly distinguishable. Think about it, that’s more alcoholic than a mixed drink – unless your missed drink is vodka and ice. I had two thirds of a 750ml bottle and it knocked me on my ass.

Thanks to JJ's blog, I saw Weezer's Pork and Beans video - AMAZING - the best music video I've seen since Weapon of Choice. I watched it over 20 times in the last week. AND! The lead singer looks like Dr. Hawkins from Rose with that mustache.

MTV Sucks

Flipping through channels yesterday, Jenny and I came across the MTV Movie Awards - and I remembered why I haven't watched MTV in six years. "Transformers" won best movie? "Best Summer Movie So Far" is a category? Corporations can buy advertising space inside the auditorium? MTV sucks, and anyone who says otherwise is a 14-yr-old girl.

Sex and the Rocket City

Jenny and I saw "Sex and the City: The Movie" last night - the longest movie I ever sat through which didn't have an explosion or something catch fire. It's not what you think - Jenny won two tickets via a local paper. I lost The Game seven times (unexaggerated) and I once LOL'ed thinking about Weldon's cinderblock joke (in proper context). I was the ONLY person who laughed - laughed hard - at an iPhone joke. To be fair, I was a fan of the show and the movie was pretty good, though it took half an hour to get rollin, [sarcasm] but THANK GOD there was another 118 minutes left [/sarcasm]. I kid, I kid... I you need to take a date to see a chick flick, this is definitely one to consider (it has boobies).

That Chick Needs to Get Laid

There's this bird, and every morning it enjoys to sing a catchy little jingle outside our window around 3am. Bird, what's the deal? Three in the morning on a weeknight is no time to perform a mating ritual. Let's face it, by the time last call comes around, if you still haven't hooked up with a chick you probably aren't going to. Cut your losses, go to bed, masturbate, and try again the next night. And stop WAKING ME UP AT 3AM!

Dark Lord Day ‘08

Dark Lord Day was amazing. For those of you who are unaware, Dark Lord Day is the only day of the year when one can buy Three Floyds Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout, at a limit of six bottles per person and $15 per bottle, and is held at the Three Floyds Brewing Co. in Munster, IN. It is among the top ranked beers in the world, typically #2 on beeradvocate.com but was recently pushed to #3 by Kate the Great. Fortunately for me, Jenny came along for the joy ride and in so doing I purchased a baker’s dozen – or a $180 case of beer.

I have yet to crack open any of my beers, but I did have a sample of the Oak Aged Dark Lord Imperial Stout on tap - which in itself is easily one of the best beers I’ve ever tasted.

Here’s the rundown…

My car leaves the Haute on Friday evening, and about twenty minutes in I am pulled over – and given a warning! A cop who is polite, humorous, and gives warnings - I thought that was an old wives’ tale. About an hour later we pull over again because Jenny gets carsick. Well, we arrive in Lansing, IL, and check into the exquisite, luxurious Days Inn. We eat, we drink, we are merry.

We awake early on Saturday, shove a dozen people into two cars, and are on our way. Our crowd consists of myself, Jenny, Hargis, Shane, JJ, Schue, Kidwell, Rogers, Cleve, Sully, Weldon, and the ever-so-adorable Kennedy; and we meet up with Halfpenny, Beth, and Jesse later on. The beer goes on sale at 11am; we arrive at 9:30am with a five hour wait ahead of us. I say, I haven’t seen a line like this since I visited the Vatican a few years ago; but in this line you can drink beer. There are Three Floyds beers on tap, visiting breweries’ beers on tap, food in the brewpub, people trading beers and of course, porta johns – all for your line waiting pleasure. My one complaint: the event isn’t nearly as much of a beer/music/BBQ festival as the descriptions implied – really much more of a beer festival with BBQ in the brewpub (a different line) and music inside the warehouse (while 98% of the line is outside the warehouse). Also I failed to realize that other special beers were on sale, particularly Hvedegoop, a wheat wine jointly brewed by Three Floyds and the Mikkeller Brewery in Denmark, sold for the first time ever in the world at a limit of two bottles per person.

Sunday morning rolls around and we mosey back to Terre Haute. Nothing more of interest to tell other than I pooped four times on Sunday. I think the high protein, dark beer diet isn’t one to be desired by fitness enthusiasts.

George and Dynetics Are Doing Goodly

Dynetics conducts an Employee Development Plan (EDP) each April, which is essentially an employee evaluation – with a twist. The twist is a company evaluation. Let me continue…

Each employee fills out the last two pages of a three page form describing his job, how he likes his job, and his career goals. For instance, I work in IR signatures analysis and plan to earn a Masters Degree (but with much more detail). The first page is filled in by my immediate supervisor, and asks about the employee’s corporate, job, and personal characteristics. Then the supervisor and the employee meet and they discuss the form. So it’s not so much an employee evaluation as it is a means to open communication between management and employees, and make sure everybody is happy. I have very little contact with my immediate supervisor (we work on different contracts) so I didn’t know what kind of stuff he was going to write on that first page. In our little meeting he said he talked to guys I directly work with, and on page one he writes stuff like “hard worker,” “motivated,” “a good team player,” “has good interpersonal skills,” “exemplifies Dynetics corporate values in on-the-job actions,” and yada yada yada. He told me I’m a good employee, a great fit for Dynetics, and they’re lucky to have me. This is the first direct feedback I’ve received on my performance other than “good job,” so yay for George. Unfortunately, as the evaluation to make sure everyone’s happy, this does not mean any extra moolah for George. That evaluation is conducted in September.

In other news, Dynetics was named a “Best Place to Work in Huntsville / Madison County” by our Chamber of Commerce. Fifteen companies were named, five in each category, with Dynetics in the 250+ employee category. Lockheed can SUCK IT!

Nose Hair

I plucked a massive nose hair yesterday. It must have been rooted in my frontal lobe. I wanted to frame it, and put it on display in the dining room. Instead, I washed my hands.

Earth Day 2008

I need to buy some organic beer so I can celebrate.

My Knee Hurts

Can I go to the nurse?

After months of cycling for my cardio needs, I started high intensity workouts on the treadmill last week and now the back of my right knee is suing my body for divorce. Sitting around and walking are no problem, but one step up or down a staircase and it feels as though a midget is following behind stabbing my ligaments with a sterilized icepick. I should avoid the stairs, but I live in a second floor apartment, my office is on the second floor of Dynetics, and I work in a second floor computer lab at Boeing. Poppy-cock.

Fortunately I can take elevators at the office, but they're out of the way and (more importantly) if I change my way of life then the knee wins.

1W 2 DLD!

I leave for Dark Lord Day 2008 in one week! (plus some hours)

Evil Dead: The Musical

Next weekend Jenny is auditioning for a community theater production of Chicago. This fall that theater is performing Evil Dead: The Musical. I want her to try out for it, but she's never seen any of the Evil Dead films and doesn't think she'll have any fun. Hell, if they have any non-singing parts I might give it a go. I almost peed my pants when she told me about it. Finally, a musical classy enough to appeal to my tastes.

Dr. House

The RHIT variety. I completely missed Dr. House on Jeopardy. Why? Because Jeopardy airs at 12:30pm in Huntsville. At first I thought Jeopardy might be a little above the head of the average Alabamian, hence pushing it to mid-day while leaving Wheel of Fortune as is; but a further search shows Jeopardy airs at normal times in Birmingham and Decatur. What gives? Asking to leave work five hours early to watch Jeopardy would have been pushing it.

Well I know he won with about 16 grand. Anyone know where I can view a copy of the show?

Happy Pi Day!

Happy Pi Day 2008! The one day each year which honors the world's most famous and influential mathematical constant. To celebrate, I picked up a couple of pies. I was only gunning for an apple, but when I saw a blackberry pie stacked next to it I knew I hit the jackpot. Pie with breakfast, pie with lunch, pie with dinner, and pie and ice cream for dessert. If I had more company, I'd end the day with the Pi Drinking Game: watch the movie Pi and drink every time a character is doing or talking about math. But it's just me and Jenny today, and I doubt she'll find the game as amusing as I - so instead we'll drink and eat Pi Pies.

Tunis!

I thought I'd let everyone know that I talked to Tunis tonight, and he has a blog. He just started Air Force pilot training at Sheppard AFB in Wichita Falls, TX. Go to http://euro-nato.blogspot.com/ to find out how much more badass his life is than ours.

The New Girlfriend

Sorry Jenny, you've been replaced. Everybody, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Samsung LN-T4661. She puts out.

Disclaimer: Any chicks offended by the notion that an HDTV can replace a girlfriend should take a Midol and chill-the-fuck out. After all, the HDTV doesn't have boobs.

Jenny’s New Job

Jenny got a job as a marketing assistant with the Huntsville Symphony Orchestra. You can read all the details here.

Homebrew No. 2

My second homebrew batch is almost done. It should be "drinkable" by Saturday, though it’ll need another week for optimal carbonation. I'm brewing the St. Patrick's Irish Stout mix from Mr. Beer, with a hint of pineapple for my own amusement; and brown sugar instead of white granulated sugar for carbonation (partly to experiment, but mostly because I’m out of white sugar). I’m bringing a couple growlers along for my week in l'Haute.

Graphic Novels?

I just saw a commercial for a movie based on a graphic novel, about the super friends. What's the difference between a graphic novel and a comic book? If it's a book full of pictures, and all the text is inside dialog bubbles, then it's a comic book. Who are they kidding?

$#@%

Pardon my ASCII, but $#@% the internet! The SQL database for my entire blog is MISSING! The last time I backed up the database was mid-December, and that .gz file is CORRUPTED! What the fuck happened? I'm off to get to the bottom of this bullshit.